Setting Myself Up for Failure

I figured I would write this now while I was still emotionally charged up. I am trying to get down to 145lbs by October. I am working with a friend to lose weight.

My friend is very motivated and is doing GREAT. Me....I suck!!!!

I'm over my calories, I'm not exercising enough, and I've gained 2 lbs!!!! I hate this!!! I am so frustrated!

I just don't have the time to put into this. I'm tired. I am so behind on so much right now. I haven't even planned my Girl Scout meeting which is on Thursday! I haven't studied for my Math Placement test which I have on Saturday. Can't concentrate and every little thing is getting on my nerves. I mean little things. Like the sound of my daughter crunching on a pickle! It is irritating. I got mad at her because she was sitting next to me and she kept slamming her hand down on the couch and would jar me and I was like the worst thing in the world.

Can't explain it. I just feel so out of control!

Things are just spinning and spinning and it doesn't stop. It is like everyone just wants a little piece of me and no one will be happy until there is nothing left of me.

Just don't know how much longer I can hang on to myself without totally blowing apart.

I use to be so organized and so focused on the goals and now, I can barely think past the next moment!!!

Failure just seems so eminent...