I Still Don't Think I am Interesting

A very good friend of mine stated that a good way to communicate when surrounded by members of the opposite sex was to tease them in a good nature way, especially if they initiate the teasing.

Okay, cool. Great advice.

Putting it practice, yeah whole n'other story...

What I seem to lack is timing...

I work with a person who has a great sense of humor, actually 2 people. The one person's sense of humor is raw and naughty were there other person's sense of humor is dry and sarcastic. But, I don't think that it is very attractive when I burst out laughing because of something either of them said!

Person #2 just has to look at me a certain way and I start to laugh. It is so embarrassing...especially when it happens in the middle of class.

After I've laughed, I feel like such an idiot! I think, "Wow, they must really think I'm a moron."

Then I get very self conscience and I clam up. It is weird, I am weird....

That must be it. I'm a weird person. I must be abnormal or something. Here I am an grown adult and I act like a giggly school girl when a person "looks" at me. I know the "look" isn't a "look" it is usually an acknowledgement of something ironic or off center that has happened which has gone completely over the heads of the others in the room. I mean, it is kinda nice to know that there is this very clear non-verbal communication going on, but it is not THAT type of non-verbal communication.

Geez, I am really struggling here.

People are going to start to think I'm mental or something. But, seriously...I've gone through my entire adult life not being able to communicate with people on a social level (men actually)

Even with men I've know forever, I still get weird-ed out. Did you know that I have this very difficult time looking at someone (men especially) straight in the eyes! Yeah! Isn't that crazy?

I can be in a room full of men, and not have one bloody thing to say, or if I do have something to say, it ends up sounding stupid and I've just made a complete jackass out of myself. Then I think, "Geez, I'm gonna leave this room and they are going to talk about me behind my back and say things like 'is she a ditz or what?'"

Actually, I'm curious about what people say about me when I'm not in the room. I often times wonder that when I leave to clock back in from lunch. Or do they just not say anything at all and I'm just this invisible person that is over looked as usual.

Okay, now you are all thinking I'm some self-absorbed person who thinks that the world revolves around her. Well.........you know....maybe I am. Maybe I am too self-absorbed. Maybe I come off sounding like some elitist or something.

Would someone PLEASE tell me what I'm doing wrong? Or if I'm doing something right it would be really nice to know, and it would be a huge ego boost.

Okay Okay, yeah I know....It is not right to be thinking like this. I'm not being very "Christian" I shouldn't be thinking about these things. Well, ya know.....I've also spent the majority of my life being an overweight  invisible freak, and now that I'm normal looking I am no longer invisible, and I have NO CLUE how to deal with it!

Do I just keep smiling?
Do I play with my hair?
Do I lower my voice when I speak?
Do I swing my hips when I walk?
Do I wink?
Do I laugh in a sultry sort of way?

What do I do??? What will NOT make me look like an absolute idiot!?

Yeah, I'm stressing over this...wouldn't you if you were in my place?