I'm not very interesting in real life

First of all I want to apologize to all my readers. I am so sorry I have not been on in a while. With school starting and getting this taken care of around here, it has been hard to take the time. I will try to remedy that.

Also, I have made a decision to take a break from college for the semester. We will see how that goes.

So, anyway...here is my dilemma.

I don't think I'm very interesting.

So, I have all these "admirers" on Facebook. I seem to be the "popular" girl. The Girl all the guys like to flirt with and stuff. Which is very cool, don't get me wrong. I love the attention.

But, I think if these same guys were to actually meet me, I'd be boring.

Here is why I think that. Recently I have been inducted into the "Social Studies" secret society. (Eating lunch with the Social Studies teachers) Anyway, it has been really nice to feel apart of this group (who by the way are mostly men)

Anyway, I was sitting at lunch and the guys were talking, and I couldn't think of one bloody thing to say!!! I was sitting there, eating my lunch listening to the conversation, laughing at the appropriate times, looking everyone in the eye who was talking to me, but I said NOTHING! I just smiled and nodded.

Really!!!??? Are you freakin' kidding me!!!

You know this is not the first time. Why am I so socially awkward? I can think of a million things to say on Facebook. I'm witty and fun and flirty and smart and insightful, but put me in a room full of people and WHAM instant wallflower.

I mean, I am thin and sexy now and I still can't engage a guy in a conversation. What the heck is wrong with me???

Okay, yes I am currently married and so many of you will probably say "well you don't need to worry about that because you are married." Well no that is not true, I NEED to learn how to be social because I will never be able to go anywhere alone if I don't.

People will look at me like I am a total idiot!

I am a very smart woman, I am educated and I have ideas and thoughts and opinions, and I am sexy and beautiful and I can be flirty and I am passionate.....and yet....when I am around a group of people, especially men I freeze up.

So, maybe I am just not enticing enough?

I want people to want to talk to me, I want people to want be around me...I want to have people clamoring for MY attention. Is that wrong???