Anger Mis-Management

I don't suppose any of you out there has ever experienced the absolute blindness of anger huh? Its is very hard to describe and actually it is not anger in so much as it is frustration.

But what really is the most upsetting is that the people around you have no clue what you are going through and so they just assume you are being well...bitchy....

The truth is there is no conscience decision here. It just sort of happens, like a cascade affect. One small things sets you off.

For me, a chaotic situation coupled with a lot of external stimuli (noise, lights, people), then couple that with some sort of physical discomfort (headache, hunger, fatigue), add on not being able to make a simple decision, then add on to that not being able to accomplish a simple task, add on to that well meaning people who want to help but you don't let them because you can't see straight to allow someone else come into your chaotic environment, which then adds on hurt feelings and then bickering and then an all out fight.

See friends, anxiety really is a serious issue with some people. They simply cannot handle a multitude of stimulus bombarding them at one time. To these people they need to take one item at a time deal with it and then move on to the next. Often time these people are deemed to be slow to understand or slow to get things done.

I have severe anxiety. There are days I am so wound up that I am afraid I will just explode, and sometimes I do and I end up doing it to innocent victims who just happen to be in the path of destruction. Of course when it is over I just feel horrible.

But, unfortunately it has a lasting affect on people. You are labeled. Family will say that they need to walk on eggshells so not to upset you, some people will try to patronize you and make you feel that your anxiety is unfounded even stupid, and others will simply lash back out at you.

All thee of these has happened to me.

I'm not a bitch. I'm not. I don't consciously go out in the morning with the intent of making someone else life miserable, but there are days I just can't seem to help it. It becomes are part of you. It is like a coat you wear that keeps you warm inside but when sometimes that coat becomes so heavy you burn up inside and you just want to throw it off, unfortunately when you do there is usually some poor person who has just gotten trampled by it.

To all of you out there that deal with extreme anxiety. You are not alone my friends. I don't have any magic cure for you. People will say things like: Just breath, don't worry so much, pray, walk away...etc. But really don't you sometimes find yourself in a situation were you can't do any of these things and then what?

I ask all of you out there who know someone with anxiety issues, be patient. Look for the warning signs. Such things as: excess external stimulation, physical problems, facing a new challenge, missing important items.

Whatever you do, DON'T and I repeat DON'T every tell a person who suffers from chronic anxiety to "NOT WORRY." Because as soon as you say that, guess what will happen? Yep you guessed it they will start to worry. Help the person work the problem, never try to solve the problem for them, give them space to deal with it. Only help when you are SPECIFICALLY called upon to help.

You may see a anxious person struggling with something and of course you want to jump right in there and help it is a natural reaction, but it is the wrong reaction. Never just jump in on an anxious person and try to help them. They will lash out at you and fight you every step of the way. They will tell you to leave them alone they are perfectly capable of handling the situation on their own, and most of the time they do. What you need to do as the concerned friend is stand back and give that person their space, but don't do it in a condescending manner, do it lovingly but always be close enough then your help is finally requested, and above all NEVER tell an anxious person that you "DON'T KNOW"

I know that sounds crazy right? But in fact the anxious person is looking for resolution to the problem and when the person they ask for help from just says "I don't know" that is like a slap in the face. You may not know, I get that, but never tell them that. If you don't know, figure it out. An anxious person needs someone who can think clearly and who can get the answers in a calm and cool way. So as a friend of an person with anxiety patience is the key, and be careful with the "tone" of your voice because everything is blown out of proportion to the person with anxiety and even the slightest passive/aggressive statement can be looked upon by the anxious person as betrayal.

Embrace the anxious people in your lives. Never treat them any different from others around you. Let them have their out burst only until when they are done they are ready to listen constructively and now this is your time to shine. Walk the anxious person through the steps and don't do it for them, let them do it on their own. I may take longer but it is needed for someone who suffers from anxiety.

Just love them folks. They need tender loving care probably more then your average normal person. They are good people they really are just a little bit high maintenance.