California Adventure: Day 3

What a great way to start the week.

Coffee, lounging in bed, then getting out when you want to eating breakfast and talking to my dear friend for what seems like hours, then going out and having fun. That is the best life can offer.

What I have decided is that I am too young to be old. I will be 39 this year, and I am going to revel in it. Why be old? What is the point of it all? I think so many people have just gotten old because they have allowed the pressures of life to weigh down on them so hard.

As my friend and I were talking we discussed Toxic Relationships.

Come on you know exactly what I am talking about, those relationships that feed off the negative.

Those friends in your life that just seem to always have a "bad day" or who feel they need to "fix" what they perceive is wrong with you so they don't have to deal with their miserable lives. Those co-dependant relationships were you feel compelled to stay in them because that person has some serious hurt going on but you don't want to have the guilt that they have laid on you by leaving the relationship.

Please don't misunderstand me, it does take 2 people to make a relationship, but someone has got to take control of the situations, and that my friends is up to you. Of course you don't want anyone to be hurt and a person should never treat another person with meanness of spirit. I feel that we can all deal with our relationships in loving manners and set boundaries that protect the spirit of all those involved.

Remember, it is about you. Not the selfish, self-centered you, but the idea that you need to love yourself first before you can be in any type of relationship with anyone. So many people are in relationships for the other person. These people are known for wanting others to be happy and they sacrifice their own happiness, many become martyrs, many become depressed, many engage in unhealthy activities or habits because they can't cope with the other person's problems as well as their own.

My friends, lets look at this from a different angle. What sort of friend are you if you are constantly talking negatively? Yes, it perfectly fine to talk abut how you may not be doing good today, or that you are struggling with an issue, that is perfectly fine. But, if you are constantly having a bad day, if you are constantly dealing with an issue, then maybe you need to consider that there is a problem and you need to fix it.

My friend told me that she would never not care for someone, but if they are toxic she will back off. Granted she will try to help and give them guidance but if they are constantly doing the same negative and unhealthy behaviors over and over, then you can't be attached to that behavior because it brings you down. However is she has a friend who is struggling and really is making an effort to change but just keeps running into walls, she is going to do what she can to guide that person.

Notice how I said "guide" or give "guidance" not "Help" not "Tell what to do" That is one thing I respect about my friend, she talks to you in a way were she is not giving you advice on specifically what you need to do, she is talking to you and presenting different choices and options but leaving the whole matter up to you. Yet, she never judges a situation and she believes that all situations are valid. People struggle with life, jobs, families and relationships. We are humans and we tend to do silly things. So, why judge others? It would be like casting stones at yourself, being a hypocrite.

Don't be a toxic person. Embrace your life as God has given to you. I have begun to notice that people are stuck in place and made to feel guilty by an established moral code. I'm not saying that morality and ethics are not important, but when another's  morality is suppressing another persons' right to live their life, that is wrong.

God loves us all, HE doesn't make mistakes. So, why are we telling people they are "bad" for being who they are? Shouldn't we be tolerant as our Savior is? We say that Jesus Christ died for all people, yet we judge and treat others who don't live to OUR standards as unworthy of Christ's love.

Boy, I'll tell you what friends, I've made some changes over this week. When I return home many of you are going to be a little nervous, and that is okay. I've had to build the courage to change, to step back from toxic relationships, to own my life, to live for me, to love me, to find MY joy.

I feel like a more tolerant individual, yeah I will probably fall into old behaviors but, I am moving in a forward motion to take my life back and to do it with love and respect for all those in my life.

In one year I will be 40 years old. I want to go into my 40th year of life with a new sense of self. With a passion for me, I want to be in love with me, I want to be convinced that I am sexy and beautiful not because others say I am but because I KNOW I am.

Moving forward today and Day 4 of my California Adventure.

God Bless You
Nameste