California Adventure: Day 1

Well, it is almost 8am. I didn't get to bed until 3am. We had such a good time!

I got to my friends' home Saturday 7/23, and as soon as I got there it was like we hadn't been separated for 13 years. We just picked it right up.

A lot has changed over the years though, and I admire my friend so much. In fact, she has made some very positive changes in her life that I can see myself doing. It is just a matter of me getting on that right track.

I'm slowly getting there. My metamorphis so to speak started in January when I started with Sedona Palms, and so far I have been successful, well at least I think so.

See here is the thing folks. I may have changed "Physically" but I have not changed "Mentally/Emotionally" I am this thin sexy woman with the mindset of an overweight self conscience woman who keeps everyone at arms length.

I know I can be a very friendly person, I know that. but I get so overwhelmed in social situation that I freeze up, and I don't know what to say, and then I sit there and I mull it over and think..."Okay, should I say this? No that's stupid. Or, should I say that? No that's stupid too!" Then by the time I've worked up the courage to start a conversation with someone, the opportunity becomes lost. Then I am feeling rejected.

See this is what I just can't stand about myself. I can't stand this feeling of inadequecy that I'm not good enough to be around other much "cooler" people.

My friend was concerned that maybe I wasn't having fun, and I was! I truly truly was! I just need to get over this awkward phase. I love my friend, she is just so vivacious! She allows nothing negative in her life, and if something negative does creep in she deals with it constructively and moves on.

Don't get me wrong folks it is not like my friend has some super powers, she had a very bad life for a long time, this positive attitude that she now embodies took a long time for her to cultivate, but she said that while it was the most difficult journey she ever took the final destination is so well worth it.

So, Day 1 I learned about being positive and taking things in stride....now we will see what Day 2 has in store for me!